Australian Prime Minister WC

Australian Prime Minister WC

Pool BBQ

Pool BBQ

Home made flotation device = $3.50

Assorted Alcoholic beverages = $165.50

Hosting the death BBQ in your pool = $Priceless!

Terrorist Training!

Human Bomb Class

Just Before Prohibition

If you were around in 1919 (just before prohibition started) and came upon the following poster…

Pre-Prohibition Wowsers

Would you quit drinking?

When in Jerusalem

Jerusalem

Lady Vanderbilt and Salvador Dali!

Custer's Last Stand

Lady Vanderbilt had just moved into her new $10 million apartment in New York and despite all the attention of the interior decorators there was one long wall in her “great room” that defied resolution. Time was becoming critical, as there were a great number of famous guests coming for her house-warming soirée.

Acting on a suggestion from a dear friend she contacted Salvador Dali whom she asked if he would kindly consider painting an American historical epic scene on this bloody annoying bare wall, no expense spared. Such a lucrative appointment provided Sally with a golden opportunity to show off his prodigious painting talent. He would work day and night to complete the work and it was agreed the unveiling would be at the soirée.

Old Sally only requested one proviso he had to work in complete privacy to which Lady V quite agreed only too happy with that, she said.!

Much secret activity went on but sure enough Sally finished the work on time and everything was set up for the soirée and the unveiling!

With 150 guests fed and watered came the moment when Lady V decided now is the moment for her to drop the drape covering this work of art, with everyone agog down went the drape… SILENCE! … GASP!… Lady V passed out and had to be revived.

Displayed with beautiful detail were :-

·               A Holy Cross
·               A Buffalo Cow
·               A Red Indian boy and girl deeply involved in a sexual act.

In shocked silence Lady V announce there would be a lawsuit for breach of contract and personal embarrassment glaring at Salvador.

Somewhat bewildered Salvador quietly said but you asked me to paint a famous epic scene depicting American history and that is what I have painted. Face suffused with anger Lady V demanded to know what in God’s name could that be.

Said Salvador ” General Custer’s famous last words at the battle of the Little Big Horn…HOLY COW F@#&ING INDIANS!”

The History of the Middle Finger

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers.  Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future.  This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as “plucking the yew” (or “pluck yew”).

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, “See, we can still pluck yew! ” Since ‘pluck yew’ is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental fricative F’, and thus the words often used in conjunction with the e-finger-salute!  It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as “Giving the bird”.